August 5, 2009

Good Question

A gentleman at Steny Hoyer's town hall meeting asked,

"Why would you guys try to stuff a health care bill down our throat in 3-4 weeks, when the President took six months to pick what he wanted for a dog for his kids? What are you doing?"

Strangely, he didn't get an answer.

Smells Fishy

The White House has asked us all to rat out our friends and neighbors if we see anything "fishy" online concerning ObamaCare. I of course am only too happy to oblige. (Click to embiggen.)

August 1, 2009

Shallow Be Thy Name


Obama showing his "friend" Skip Gates and that ignorant cracker cop to their cars. What a guy.

July 14, 2009

As the rappers say, ignorance is blizzle.

I posed the following question on Facebook earlier:

Would it be better for me to try to impart my conservative beliefs to my children, thereby dooming them to a life of frustration, or do we just let them become ignorant, happy little consumers? Ignorance is bliss, they say.

I really don't know the answer. Obviously, I think that my ideas are correct, and throughout our history the conservative approach has proven itself time and time again. These days, though, something here seems to have fundamentally changed. Socialism (or, as the brilliant Mark Levin calls it, "Statism"), after nearly a century of stealth infiltration via our schools and the media, has finally reached critical mass and I'm not so sure it can be beaten back down again. If that's the case, why would I want my kids to spend their lives swimming upstream?

I just don't know. I think the next couple of years will tell the tale for America.

July 10, 2009

Obama Reverses Stance on Offshore Drilling

Well, with Michelle (aka, "Lieutenant Worf") and her guns waiting at home, can you really blame him?

July 8, 2009

Educayshin, u say?

My wife and I are researching schools for our daughter. I know, we should have had all that figured out while she was still in utero, but here we are. Besides the scientifically-proven method of closing our eyes and pointing at random names in the yellow pages, we've been researching online as well. One of the websites I looked at was, which assigns its own ratings to schools based on some arbitrary formula I couldn't divine. It also allows people to post reviews, which is where the rubber really meets the road on this site. It has all the usual product review intrigue: People with an axe to grind, current & former students taking potshots at the teachers for yuks, people who are obviously school employees, posting reviews that are just a little too glowing, and that staple of the product review, the spelling-challenged nitwit. Fine, I'm one of those kooks who probably puts too much stock into spelling ability, but I submit that a person who spells it 'Disaplen' might not be the best judge of a particular schools' merits. Call me crazy. Or call me Ishmael. At least I've read the book.

July 7, 2009


I can blog from my phone!

Okay, break's over!

Aannnd, I'm back. I've been shooting my wad on a nearly daily basis on Facebook instead of here on terra blognita, and I've just decided to drop it here first. If its something everyone else needs to know, I'll FB it. Otherwise, this will be the location of all my shtuff. Like this:

These are pictures from my Buddy Chris's backyard. He has (had) an above-ground pool (or "Hillbilly Hot Tub") there that he built a big, nice deck around. We were hanging out there one afternoon when we heard a creak, followed by a "R-r-r-boom!" sound. We looked over to see the pool hemorrhaging from a mighty gash all the way down its side. It was as if the pool had hit an iceberg. A massive wall of water carried everything in his yard (no small feat) to the far end to be deposited against the fence. The water, however, would not be contained so easily. It inundated his neighbor's yard before making its way to the storm drain. I briefly feared being swept away, drowned in a maelstrom of overchlorinated water. Fate, however, had other plans for me. Spared, I was determined to chronicle the great flood. It took a few seconds before I realized my phone had a camera, but once I did, I began snapping away furiously, hoping to capture the beast before it disappeared, another suburban legend down the drain.

Seriously, this was one of the funniest things I had ever seen. Thank God I got a couple of pictures.

February 5, 2009

Why do Democrats Love Taxes?

Because they don't pay them.

February 4, 2009

Most Ethical White House EVER.

Man. Where do you even begin? The new administration is simultaneously filling me with schadenfreude and scaring the piss out of me. If I were a wealthy man who could take the financial hits, I would love to just pull up a chair, pour a drink and salute as this train wreck unfolds. Since I am not a wealthy man, however, I'm stuck in the same boat with everyone else, watching these ignorant dilettantes play at politics while my 401k continues to melt down into lead. From what I can see, Obama's new administration consists entirely of tax cheats, lobbyists and the Clintons.

How could that group be anything other than ethical?

image courtesy of

Fourteen degrees below freezing? Whuh?


Cold, cold, cold. Too cold to be Florida. A low of eighteen? Surreal. And painful. I've seen cold before, like minus 5 during my short-lived and foolish move to Ohio ("It's high in the middle and round on both ends. O-Hi-O!"), but you expect that there. You expect cold, and brown slush, and all the joys of living in a freezer, though never in my life did I imagine myself swinging a large stick at my windshield as hard as possible to try and convince a stubborn hunk of ice to let loose.

Overall, you sort of expect some Donner-esque hardships living in such a place.

But not in Florida, land of mermaids, "Vice City" and anthropomorphic mice. Florida equals heat, and lots of it, mister. I've seen the wax melt off a McDonald's cup here. So to see the mercury struggle above forty on a sunny day here is, well, disconcerting. It makes you wonder for a second if Al Gore is right, but then you remember that Al Gore has never been right about pretty much anything he's ever said, done or thought, and you go on with life. Indoors, as much as possible.

This is actually my first post as a blogger (finger quotes around "blogger". We'll see how it goes. I may post again in an hour, or six months from now.). Hell, I haven't written anything longer than a grocery list since college. I've had the account open for several months but haven't felt strongly enough about anything to post it here. Well, that's not entirely accurate. I have two pretty cool kids I'm kind of fond of, and Obama's first two weeks in office is the most bizarre spectacle ever (Glenn Reynolds put it best when he asked, "Do any of these people pay taxes?"). It's just that time is a rare commodity, and I already spend a good bit of it in front of this thing. I originally intended for this to be a semi-private monologue to my children, to let them know the old guy they roll their eyes at was at one time a reasonably smart and productive guy. And to make sure they know that what I am now is entirely their fault.